They Remembered Me
Yeah, so I just made an executive decision: I am going to attempt to cut myself off from my heart for the next 4 months - I don't mean it in a physical sense! That would be suicide, and I have no desire to be involved in anything like that. Just, I am so not going to Jordan to get an Arab boyfriend. At the moment I am absolutely sick of boys that I love that don't appreciate me enough. I am fragile and sensitive, and I'm sick of certain people not caring about my feelings, or not paying enough attention to me. For example, for the first time in a while I felt annoyed that Danny didn't write me this week. Just - annoying. I got a very short email from his dad that got sent to his family, but he didn't even put a single sentence in there for me. I mean, obviously, that means he's busy and I would way rather he be a busy missionary than not at all, but it's...very heavy. Love sucks. I would rather not love than love and be hurt, right now.
So I'm officially turning off that part of myself. You won't see it for the next 4 months. Point final.
I have 3 goals:
1. Become fluent in Arabic
2. Understand Arab culture/customs/history/politics
3. Deepen my testimony (esp. by reading the Old Testament)
Today was a really great day for me. I spent most of it talking with Claire. Seriously, she is a mentor. One of my great life friends, somebody I can really look up to. I really love her.
I helped her do her shopping, and then play with the kids, and finally to organize the photos. She went into the other room and found a stack of photos she had put aside to send to me. Finding time to sit down and write was really hard for her, but she had put aside an entire pile for me.
Looking through the photos and drawings done by the children, it just...it opened an emotion I didn't think I had. I suddenly found myself crying hard. And then, she gave me a long, long letter Pierrick had written me, and I was completely done for. They remembered me. All this time, they loved me.
I think that people need other people. I know that I do. What do you think?
I don't think that the automatic blog-timer is very correct, so I added a clock to the side so you can tell what time it is where I am.
4 comments:
Hi Kate! I read your post and looked at your recent pictures! I'm glad you're able to meet up with your friends in France and have such a good time! It was very good for me too to visit my old mission friends last summer. I think that in general, it's a much more valuable vacation to see old friends in far off places than to see far off places themselves - especially when they're really just tourist attractions, and not much more.
Yeah, I can say that we all need people in general - I sometimes feel that way, usually in the evening, when I just get an urge to find some friends and hang out or something. Or just to get out and do something. We might not all need praise in the same way, and some of us might not even feel that they need praise or recognition from others at all, but we all need to have friends.
Guess what? I have a girlfriend now! ...that is, for two weeks. She's in a marriage prep class, and one of the assignments is to be in a "relationship" for a couple of weeks. We were already friends, so I guess she asked me to help her out with this assignment. Meh. BYU is funny!
Wow, Kate, and Kate's Brother. You get the prize for longest comment in blog history. But it was a good one. Yay for getting assigned girlfriends!
We need people in general. I'm not sure if I need people now. I feel I do, but at the same time I just want to be alone. (I believe you've read my blog about Trevor). Anyway, it's nice to be remembered. I love coming back to a place you thought you were forgotten, but learn you were not. There's hardly a better feeling. You're loved and missed here!
PS Thanks for having Good Trevor call me. It let me know you cared and were thinking of me.
Kate. Much loving to you.
Mary
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