Funny Story in the Library

I don't have a University ID card, so I can't check out books from the library.

In my Children's Literature class at BYU last year, I read about this guy who was basically a vagabond fugitive child, riding trains across the country, sleeping in barns...he never attended High School, but everywhere he went he would steal a book from the library, read it, return it at the next library he came to where he would steal another one, etc. He ended up getting a PhD and teaching at an Ivy League University later. The point of the story was to illustrate the importance of literacy and reading for children.

The message I got out of the story was stealing books from a library is not morally wrong when you have intentions to return it. After all, the point of a library is to promote reading, not to enforce red-tape.

The day before yesterday, I managed to smuggle a book out of the library in my bag. The book described the female experience in the Middle East of several women from Lebanon, Syria, Palestine, Morocco, and Algeria. I read half the book, and went to school the next day with the book in my bag.

After about three hours of studying my brains out on the fourth floor of the library, I went to leave. I walked through the security barrier with a group of Arabs. The alarm went off as my illegal book went through the barrier, but because I was standing behind a guy, the security guard/desk attendant guy pulled him over, not me.

I turned around, found the book, contemplated ripping out the page with the scanned bar-code, decided that would be too dishonest, took the book out of my bag and put it in my purse, and non-chalantly walked back to the exit.

The alarm went off.

I told the guard that I didn't have any library books. He looked through my bag. He decided it must have been my phone, so he let me through. Everything was about to work out fine, until he handed me my purse through the barrier. The alarm went off.

I opened my purse in a way that he wouldn't see the book inside, but he found it, took it out, and asked to see my ID.

There was no way to hide the fact that I was stealing a library book.

I told him that I'm not a University student, I'm studying in the Language Center. I pretended to act pissed off, when really I could feel my knees wobbling. Caught in a blatant lie.

"Are you German?"
"American."
"Ah."
"Shoo bidduk?" I asked. "What do you WANT?"
"To see your ID."
"I don't have an ID...what do you want?"
"Any ID."

I showed him my Massachusetts driver's license. He let me go through, but kept my book.

I walked away feeling a weird combination of utter humiliation, and barely being able to contain my laughter. The whole situation was just completely and ultimately hilarious. In the movie of my life, this scene will definitely be included.