My Groom

In Jordanian Culture, there isn't such a thing as "dating" or "hanging out". So, what happens when two people love each other and eventually decide to get married? I discovered today, in what turned out to be the most hilarious cultural experience I have had so far.

I was not expecting to experience this while in Jordan, but apparently the neighbor's son saw me walking twice, and he liked what he saw. He went to my Arabic mom to ask for my hand.

The funniest part about this experience is that it was totally serious.

My Arabic mom told me that boys are like fish, you have to go to the fish-hawker (what the heck is that called in English?) and look at lots of them before you buy them; you don't go straight to the ocean to get them. So, she convinced me that it would be a good idea for him to come and drink some coffee with us, and talk about this subject. Of course, she had already invited him and his mother to come; his mother being one of her close friends, that I have sat with many times.

It was hilarious. He came, and I was actually really surprised because he was handsome. What!? This situation was supposed to turn out easy, but...

So then, we were all sitting there. My arabic mom, the mom of our neighbor, the mom of my groom, my arabic sister Alaa, and my groom. He got right to the point, and said that he saw me twice, I pleased him, and he wants to marry me. So what's my opinion?

Without blushing.

So, without blushing, I tried to get out of this situation without being impolite. It was super difficult because, as you know, I am from a totally different culture, and NOBODY helped me! I went into the other room because one of my arabic sisters was calling me. I begged from them words, what should I say! How can I be polite? How can I solve this problem! They didn't help me because, "It's your choice, ente horr, you're free!"

What an experience. I went back to the room and started to explain to him that I decided a long time ago that I have to marry a "Christian-Mormon". He tried to explain to me, that in his opinion, religion isn't a problem in marriage. You can marry somebody from a different religion, it's not a problem for the children, and if I want to marry him, I would be free to believe whatever I want to believe.

If I were to marry a muslim, it would not be some random stranger, but somebody whose mind and soul I match. Sigh. But mind, soul, heart - those things don't come close to faith. I had to break up with somebody I truly love because of an impossible future. Malek, ya Malek...
So then my Arabic sister called me again from inside, and I went, begged again how to get out of this situation! Again, they didn't help me.

In the end, I said, "I'll think about it," and gave him my email. I guess he and my Arabic brother are taking me to the airport tomorrow, what?!?!?!? We - well, not me, being the non-coffee drinking good mormon girl that I am - drank coffee. Then, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't know how to tell you this in a polite way, but since this is the last night with my Arabic sisters, I want to spend some time with them, and go inside with them. I don't want to be impolite..." "No, no, I will leave now, but I will see you tomorrow!"

Aughghghghghg.

I can tell you now, from PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, that Arabic women are powerful. As I sat there, with this decision before me, I felt the most amazing feeling ever. THIS CHOICE WAS COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY MINE.

On a totally different note, tomorrow I am leaving! What?!?!?!??!?!