احترام

The International Club at Al-Yarmouk University sometimes organizes trips for the students. Ayhem Abu Sha'ar is the main guy in charge of these trips. In fact, he is the only official faculty in any way responsible for International Students, which make up over a 1/4 of the student population. But I have already made my feelings on that subject somewhat clear...

The next trip for International Students was supposed to be this weekend (it has since been canceled due to bus scheduling issues), to Um Qais, the Jordan River Valley, and Ajloon. I have been to all of these places, but that was almost half a year ago. They are all worth a second look.

Unfortunately, the trip was scheduled to leave Friday morning at 8:00, meaning I would have to skip church. I told Ayhem, "Yeah, sorry...it looks like I won't be able to go with you."

"But we already put you on the list!"
"Yes but...my religion is important to me."
"You're Christian though! Why is your prayer on Friday? That's the Muslim Sabbath!"
"Yeah, well my church decided to put its prayer on Friday because there isn't work or school on that day. It's always open. You know?"
"Well, you can go pray at the Catholic church on Sunday, instead!"
"No, not really..."
"But we really want you to come with us!"

This kind of talking went on for about half an hour. Finally, I had enough. I said, "Look, if I can't go, I can't go. The end."

It was mostly a case of the-straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back. Ayhem was just joking around, not trying to purposefully disrespect my religion.

I'm totally used to living as the minority. I come from the state with the least percentage of Mormons per population; not only that, but from the non-urban area. I know all about the shock-factor my religion evokes: "You don't drink or smoke?" "Wow, you don't drink coffee or tea?" "You mean to say, you've never slept with anybody?"

It's funny. All the non-Mormon Arabs I've met think I'm an alien with two heads for not drinking coffee or tea, yet once they find out I'm a virgin it's like I've joined some secret club. EVERYBODY respects me more, and is suddenly interested in learning more about Mormonism. Usually, I try to focus on the things our religion shares in common. Today, I was told that there is only a tiny line that differentiates Mormons from Muslims. In my mind, I made a sarcastic comment about, "Yeah, there's that whole Savior-Messiah thing..."

"You mean, Mormon girls should be virgins when they get married?"
"Yeah."
"Wow! That's AWESOME!"

Later, I went back to the same person and said, "You know, my response to your question was only half-adequate. I should have said, yeah, and so should Mormon guys."
"Of course, of course!"

Off topic. Back to respect. There are several reasons why Ayhem's pressuring me to skip church to go with the school trip really pissed me off.
1. It was insistent, as if he wasn't going to change his mind until I changed mine. Ana hurra, I'm free. I can make my own decisions, thank you very much.
2. He wouldn't go ask a Muslim girl to not wear her hijab; going to church is a wajib or duty in my faith just like wearing the hijab is a wajib in Islam. He shouldn't ask me to do something that goes blatantly against my faith.
3. ESPECIALLY because he is the only person in charge of International Students! He should be understanding, welcoming, and tolerant. Right?

I went to his office and forgave him. He was really, really, really sorry for having pissed me off yesterday.

This experienced helped me bond with my Arabic family. I came home, and burst into tears. Lots of factors - homesickness, discouragement with the language, culture shock, etc. etc...those things had been in the back of my mind, but just realizing how much I am alone, and the minority, and how Ayhem disrespected me brought many of those worries to the front.

Sanaa took me in her arms and told me about how impressed she has always been with me. Multezima! She said she didn't believe that there were devout Christians before she met Nedal, and the other Mormons. She said it's very, very, very good that my religion is so important to me. I told her that my faith is the most important thing, that I could lose everything - even my family (big deal here), or my honor (even bigger), but not my faith.

My Arabic mom said that is one of the main reasons they decided to let me come live with their family, almost literally adopting me as their 5th daughter; because I am a God-fearing religious person. I felt very comforted. She also said, "Kate, don't care about people that are outside of your family. If they're outside the family - whatever, it doesn't matter. Don't care about them. Only care about things that happen to your relatives. That's what's really important." I like her philosophy.

"Sh@* on all of the people who don't respect your religion. You're better than them." said Hibba.
"You shouldn't care about people who don't have brains, right?" said my Arabic dad. "The cows and horses and sheep at the farm (the Hammouri's have a farm about 10 km away from the house) have more respect than most human beings, don't you see?"

I love the Hammouri's.