"Is Your Girlfriend a Virgin?"

Malek told me the other day that when his friends find out he's dating an American, pretty much the first thing they want to know is, "Is she a virgin?"

(speaking arabic)
"And how do you answer them!?!?!"
"I say it's none of your freaking business!!!!"
"Well, GOOD!"
"Seriously, I can't believe how stupid they are. I mean, I don't care if their girlfriends are virgins or not, I don't ever ask them! Why should they ask about you? I tell them that she's very religious, she's Mormon, and it's the same as in Islam - it's against their religion to sleep with somebody before they're married. They don't believe me, but I don't blame them. I mean, pretty much none of them have ever heard about Mormons before."

My muslim boyfriend is spreading the gospel. Funny.

You will probably ask this, especially after I just posted my very personal feelings about marriage and my future and the importance of me marrying in the temple - so Why Are You Dating A Muslim?

Here are the top ten reasons why I am dating Malak Al-Hamdan:

10. Living here for 3+ months, I've been somewhat brainwashed, and so just the act of latching on to something familiar that cares about me feels comforting and calming.
9. This experience is rich and full. I really know what it's like to be a girl in Jordanian society.
8. not to mention super FUN
7. He's a good Arabic teacher.
6. He's smart. You'd think that because neither of us is super fluent in the other's language, the conversations would be stuck on boring subjects. Not so - the language is not a barrier, it's actually more like...having to stop to explain things in depth is like adding a microscope to your conversation. It lets you see your own ideas in a new way. He's always opening my mind to new ideas and new things.
5. He is NORMAL. Like, he doesn't think Jews have tails, and he mocks the lack of political freedom that exists in this part of the world.
4. He respects me. He hasn't and would never put me in a place where I am uncomfortable.
3. He's clean. We have same moral standards.
2. He is honest.
1. I prayed about it, and felt calm and good about it.

I have been very open and honest with him about the fact that I can't marry him. I don't want to lead him on, it's real what we've got, and it's definitely been a good experience for me. I am happy that we live in a society where physical contact is a social taboo. I enjoy him as a close friend, and want to stay friends even after I leave. He's made a big impact on my life, taught me a LOT, and this has been a good, positive, fun experience.

The truth is that I need to deer bali 3la hali and stay as far from the edge of the cliff as possible. As of now, I'm about in the middle of the road. Maybe it would be smart to get closer to the side far away from the edge.

Thoughts about Marriage

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am Mormon. I was born, raised, and decided of my own free will that I believe in this faith. I know that Jesus Christ is the son of God, and that he died for me. I know that, even though there are many good people on the earth with many good and righteous ideas, there is ONE complete gospel of Jesus Christ, meaning there can only be one completely true church. I know that this the gospel was restored to the earth in the latter days by the Prophet Joseph Smith. I have the full and complete gospel, and it is true.

The gospel teaches us who we are, and the plan God has for our lives here on earth. From the scriptures, I can learn what I need to do in order to return to Him someday. I need to have faith in Jesus Christ, keep the commandments which have been given to us by all of the prophets including those of our modern days, and I need to continually pray and repent.

I want to marry for love, but love is not enough. When I put my hands together, the space all the way to the left from infinity onwards is the premortal existence, and the space all the way from to the right from infinity onwards is the life after I die, but the space between them is the time here on earth. What I do in this life will determine what I will be able to do in the life to come. Marriage for love is just not good enough.

I have to be able to marry somebody who can be with me in the eternities. I have to be sealed to my husband for time and all eternity, which is an ordinance that can only take place inside the Holy Temple. I can't marry somebody just because I love them; it would be better for me to never marry anybody than to marry somebody outside the temple.

Besides that, the man who I marry will be the father of my children. I want to raise my children the way my parents raised me, knowing about Joseph Smith, and the Book of Mormon, and the Restored Gospel. If I were to marry outside of my faith, religion would always be a conflict in my home. It is not only something I do not desire, but something that is just completely intolerable for me. Imagine always being against the one person who is supposed to be my supporter, my protector, and my friend? It cannot be.

I don't know what the plan for me is with Arabic. I don't know why I study it, why it interests me, or how it will help me in my future life. I do know that I am not here to find a husband, especially one outside of my faith.

I have a testimony of eternal marriage. I'm not exactly sure why I felt so strongly about writing this - maybe mixed feelings about dating somebody outside my faith, maybe mostly because this feeling is new and important to me. I mean, it's one thing to always be raised with these ideas, and quite another to KNOW them for myself.